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Self-pity shortens your life.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Life
Shortens
Pity
Self

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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
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Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
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They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe.
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
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I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.
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I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
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Never floss a stranger.
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I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
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I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian -- and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had.
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I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.
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Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
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I think actual death will be a lot easier than dying on stage. Cause - you know - if you do [actual death] right, you can go looking good. Maybe with a little quip [like]: 'I loved everybody.' But dying on stage...Oh, God!
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The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
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If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
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Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: 'We will laugh tomorrow about this.' And you do.
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I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
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