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Self-pity shortens your life.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Self
Life
Shortens
Pity

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I felt a comedy ego beginning to grow, which gave me the courage to begin tentatively looking into myself for material.
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I always like a charity with people who don't speak English because I get them to do all kinds of things around my house.
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You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
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When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.
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I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.
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Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.
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The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.
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Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young' it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.
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I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
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I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
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Happiness, at my age, is breathing
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I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.
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Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played Here Comes the Bride.
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Can we talk?
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Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
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Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
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Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
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