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old age' is always ten years more than we are.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Ten
Age
Years
Always
More quotes by Joan Rivers
Two is company three is fifty bucks.
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my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.
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I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.
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I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
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You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
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Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.
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There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.
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My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
Joan Rivers
Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played Here Comes the Bride.
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My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
Joan Rivers
Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
Joan Rivers
I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
Joan Rivers
you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
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All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
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if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
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I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
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I was my own buddy in camp.
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On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
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I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
Joan Rivers