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old age' is always ten years more than we are.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Ten
Age
Years
Always

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Two is company three is fifty bucks.
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my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.
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I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.
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I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
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You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
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Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.
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There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.
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My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
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Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played Here Comes the Bride.
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My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
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All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
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if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
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I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
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I was my own buddy in camp.
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On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
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I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
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