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old age' is always ten years more than we are.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Ten
Age
Years
Always

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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
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I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
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My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
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That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
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I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!
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Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
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Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
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I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.
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If you don't want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.
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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
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You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
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Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!
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Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
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keep moving. It's hard for old age to hit a moving target.
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It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.
Joan Rivers