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keep moving. It's hard for old age to hit a moving target.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Target
Age
Moving
Keep
Hard

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
Joan Rivers
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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
Joan Rivers
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Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
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A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go through menopause again.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
Joan Rivers
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Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.
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My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
Joan Rivers
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Having a baby can be a scream.
Joan Rivers
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I’m never without a bandage.
Joan Rivers
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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
Joan Rivers
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A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
Joan Rivers
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Happiness, at my age, is breathing
Joan Rivers
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I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
Joan Rivers
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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
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I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!
Joan Rivers
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
Joan Rivers
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Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played Here Comes the Bride.
Joan Rivers
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Two is company three is fifty bucks.
Joan Rivers
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My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
Joan Rivers
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Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.
Joan Rivers