Quote

I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Type
Water
Would
Lourdes
Drown
Waters
Luck
Lucky

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
Joan Rivers
Image
I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
Joan Rivers
Image
If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
Joan Rivers
Image
The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality.
Joan Rivers
Image
The only street I like is Rue Honore de Balzac, because 'Balzac' sound so gay, and I love my gays. I might like Parisians more if they named their streets only for gay icons, like Rue Liza Minnelli or Rue Bette Midler or, my favorite, Rue McClanahan.
Joan Rivers
Image
I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
Joan Rivers
Image
Never floss a stranger.
Joan Rivers
Image
Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
Joan Rivers
Image
Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
Joan Rivers
Image
Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
Joan Rivers
Image
As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something Blew.'
Joan Rivers
Image
I hate reality shows that are not reality.
Joan Rivers
Image
My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.
Joan Rivers
Image
I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.
Joan Rivers
Image
Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.
Joan Rivers
Image
I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: Last Girl Before Freeway.
Joan Rivers
Image
I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
Joan Rivers
Image
After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body.
Joan Rivers
Image
to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
Joan Rivers
Image
At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
Joan Rivers