Quote

if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Plans
Attention
Making
Happens
Think
Improvisation
Thinking
Paying
Life
Havens
Haven

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
Because I'm the only performer who comes out and says I've had plastic surgery, I've become the plastic surgery poster girl, which is hilarious, because everybody has done it and they all deny it. They stand there, like the Bride of Frankenstein, they've all got stitches, and they all say, 'I've done nothing.' I talk about it.
Joan Rivers
Image
I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.
Joan Rivers
Image
I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
Joan Rivers
Image
Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
Joan Rivers
Image
On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
Joan Rivers
Image
As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something Blew.'
Joan Rivers
Image
I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
Joan Rivers
Image
Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'
Joan Rivers
Image
My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.
Joan Rivers
Image
Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
Joan Rivers
Image
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
Joan Rivers
Image
No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
Joan Rivers
Image
Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
Joan Rivers
Image
Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
Joan Rivers
Image
I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
Joan Rivers
Image
Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
Joan Rivers
Image
That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
Joan Rivers
Image
Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
Joan Rivers
Image
I was my own buddy in camp.
Joan Rivers
Image
You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
Joan Rivers