Quote

if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Happens
Think
Improvisation
Thinking
Paying
Life
Havens
Haven
Plans
Attention
Making

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
Joan Rivers
Image
Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers
Image
The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
Joan Rivers
Image
Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!
Joan Rivers
Image
Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
Joan Rivers
Image
Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young' it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.
Joan Rivers
Image
I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
Joan Rivers
Image
If you don't want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.
Joan Rivers
Image
In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected the only surprise is a day that has none.
Joan Rivers
Image
Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
Joan Rivers
Image
Learn what not to expect. Irish catholic they get sh**** little rings. Irish women get crappy rings. Baptist get the worst because they get the rings under water. When it comes up, it's garbage. Jewish, big rings. Episcopalian big rings. Italians-the best, because they get them off of dead people, and second wives get the biggest rings of all.
Joan Rivers
Image
I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
Joan Rivers
Image
I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.
Joan Rivers
Image
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
Joan Rivers
Image
My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
Joan Rivers
Image
My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.
Joan Rivers
Image
Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
Joan Rivers
Image
Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
Joan Rivers
Image
Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
Joan Rivers
Image
Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
Joan Rivers