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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Years
May
Look
Wells
Well
Midi
Looks
Ugly
Feel
Wear
Feels
Fashion
Going
Year
More quotes by Joan Rivers
Self-pity shortens your life.
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I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
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A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go through menopause again.
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Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
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There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
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Better laid than never.
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I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
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old age' is always ten years more than we are.
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Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
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I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
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I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.
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Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
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There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
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I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: Last Girl Before Freeway.
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Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played Here Comes the Bride.
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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
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When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
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Having a baby can be a scream.
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I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
Joan Rivers
