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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Years
May
Look
Wells
Well
Midi
Looks
Ugly
Feel
Wear
Feels
Fashion
Going
Year

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.
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I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
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A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
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Every television show you go on is a choice.
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My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
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Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.
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That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
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Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
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[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
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if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
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I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
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Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: 'We will laugh tomorrow about this.' And you do.
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Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
Joan Rivers
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The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible.
Joan Rivers
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Because I'm the only performer who comes out and says I've had plastic surgery, I've become the plastic surgery poster girl, which is hilarious, because everybody has done it and they all deny it. They stand there, like the Bride of Frankenstein, they've all got stitches, and they all say, 'I've done nothing.' I talk about it.
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Having a baby can be a scream.
Joan Rivers
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Two is company three is fifty bucks.
Joan Rivers
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
Joan Rivers