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to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Important
Runners
Marathon
Endurance
Perseverance
Maintain
Talent
Success
Stamina
Learn
Runner

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I hate reality shows that are not reality.
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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.
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Because I'm the only performer who comes out and says I've had plastic surgery, I've become the plastic surgery poster girl, which is hilarious, because everybody has done it and they all deny it. They stand there, like the Bride of Frankenstein, they've all got stitches, and they all say, 'I've done nothing.' I talk about it.
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Can we talk?
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe.
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How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.
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Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
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Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
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There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
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I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.
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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
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I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: Last Girl Before Freeway.
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She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
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My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
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If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
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I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
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Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.
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