Quote

my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Conception
Complaining
Baby
True
Shirley
Never
Complains
Screamed
Childbirth
Cousin

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If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
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Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.
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I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
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You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
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Can we talk?
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Self-pity shortens your life.
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That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
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When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
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Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
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Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young' it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.
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if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
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