Quote

When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Married
Baby
Courting
Changed
Edgar
Waiting
Childbirth
Mind
Wait
Decided
Husband
Couldn

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On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
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If you don't go to Broadway, you're a fool. On Broadway, off Broadway, above Broadway, below Broadway, go! Don't tell me there isn't something wonderful playing. If I'm home in New York at night, I'm either at a Broadway or an Off Broadway show. We're in the theater capital of the world, and if you don't get it, you're an idiot.
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How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.
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I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
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My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.
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Every television show you go on is a choice.
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[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
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Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
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When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
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Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
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Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played Here Comes the Bride.
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The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
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I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
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My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.
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Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
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I’m never without a bandage.
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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
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