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When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Changed
Edgar
Waiting
Childbirth
Mind
Wait
Decided
Husband
Couldn
Married
Baby
Courting
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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
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There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
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My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
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Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
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It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
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Because I'm the only performer who comes out and says I've had plastic surgery, I've become the plastic surgery poster girl, which is hilarious, because everybody has done it and they all deny it. They stand there, like the Bride of Frankenstein, they've all got stitches, and they all say, 'I've done nothing.' I talk about it.
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I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
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On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
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I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
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Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.
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Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
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I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked
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Having a baby can be a scream.
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My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.
Joan Rivers
