Quote

When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Husband
Couldn
Married
Baby
Courting
Changed
Edgar
Waiting
Childbirth
Mind
Wait
Decided

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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
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Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
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I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He dropped the Polaroid and keeled over and so did the hooker. It would have taken me half an hour to untie myself and call the paramedics, but fortunately the Great Dane could dial.
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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
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I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
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My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
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I hate reality shows that are not reality.
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Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
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Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
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My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.
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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
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The only street I like is Rue Honore de Balzac, because 'Balzac' sound so gay, and I love my gays. I might like Parisians more if they named their streets only for gay icons, like Rue Liza Minnelli or Rue Bette Midler or, my favorite, Rue McClanahan.
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I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
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I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
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Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.
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I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
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I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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