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Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Would
Audience
High
Show
Chase
Business
Addiction
Night
Laugh
Shows
Hollywood
Three
Months
Another
Laughing
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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
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Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I'm very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something.
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I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
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I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
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If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
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Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: 'We will laugh tomorrow about this.' And you do.
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
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Better laid than never.
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That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.
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The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible.
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Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
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Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.
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You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
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I felt a comedy ego beginning to grow, which gave me the courage to begin tentatively looking into myself for material.
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