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I was my own buddy in camp.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Buddy
Camp
Camps

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.
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I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.
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Can we talk?
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Never admit that your back goes out more than you do
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A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
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There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
Joan Rivers
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
Joan Rivers
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
Joan Rivers
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My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
Joan Rivers
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I felt a comedy ego beginning to grow, which gave me the courage to begin tentatively looking into myself for material.
Joan Rivers
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My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.
Joan Rivers
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
Joan Rivers
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I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers
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What I love about jewelry is you can change it for something else without surgery.
Joan Rivers
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I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
Joan Rivers
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As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something Blew.'
Joan Rivers
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I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.
Joan Rivers
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I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.
Joan Rivers
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My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
Joan Rivers