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There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Otherwise
Anyone
Attention
Rotten
Funny
Depressing
Nothing
Hasn
Paying
Aging
Tells

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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keep moving. It's hard for old age to hit a moving target.
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Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
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I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.
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With this face, I need all the deals I can get.
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You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
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The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.
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I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
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I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
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I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
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I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
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I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.
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I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
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if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
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I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
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Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
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My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.
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My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.
Joan Rivers
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If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
Joan Rivers
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Can we talk?
Joan Rivers
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But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback riding with Jackie O in Central Park if you're going to make a joke about her that night.
Joan Rivers