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How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Younger
Fool
Skateboard
Feeling
Pretense
Age
Coat
Feelings
Coats
Always
Check
Restaurants
Checks

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I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
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My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.
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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
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I hate reality shows that are not reality.
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There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
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Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.
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I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
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Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
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Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
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I’m never without a bandage.
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