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The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Personality
Psychic
Leave
Psychics
Believe
Scar
Caused
Believing
Permanent
Ugly
Mark
Scars

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I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
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Can we talk?
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.
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I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.
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Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
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I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.
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I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
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My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.
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When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.
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Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.
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Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
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to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
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My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.
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Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
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I think we obviously need health care. Of course we need health care, but I think that it's gone too far the other way, and I don't understand it. It's gotten so complicated. The minute they made a deal with the drug companies, you know something isn't kosher here.
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I think actual death will be a lot easier than dying on stage. Cause - you know - if you do [actual death] right, you can go looking good. Maybe with a little quip [like]: 'I loved everybody.' But dying on stage...Oh, God!
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If you don't go to Broadway, you're a fool. On Broadway, off Broadway, above Broadway, below Broadway, go! Don't tell me there isn't something wonderful playing. If I'm home in New York at night, I'm either at a Broadway or an Off Broadway show. We're in the theater capital of the world, and if you don't get it, you're an idiot.
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I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
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Two is company three is fifty bucks.
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There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.
Joan Rivers