Quote

My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Littles
Calls
Ever
Refuse
Little
Daughter
Nobody
Public
Call
Mother
Grandson
Else
Refuses

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Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
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Never floss a stranger.
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My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
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I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.
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I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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I always like a charity with people who don't speak English because I get them to do all kinds of things around my house.
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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
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My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.
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I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.
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Better laid than never.
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.
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I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
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I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
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You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
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I love the way my life has fallen into place.
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Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played Here Comes the Bride.
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