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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Perfectly
Particularly
Anyone
Rather
Happy
Funny
Think
Thinking
Damaged

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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
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Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
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I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.
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Better laid than never.
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My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.
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If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
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If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
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I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
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My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.
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Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.
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Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!
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Happiness, at my age, is breathing
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I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.
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I always like a charity with people who don't speak English because I get them to do all kinds of things around my house.
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Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.
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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
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I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
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If you don't want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.
Joan Rivers