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Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Gifts
Gay
Fortune
Cost
Married
Marriage
Friends

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.
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There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
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My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
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Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
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Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.
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Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
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Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
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I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.
Joan Rivers
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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
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You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
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I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
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I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
Joan Rivers
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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
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I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
Joan Rivers
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Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
Joan Rivers
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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
Joan Rivers