Quote

If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Doesn
Two
Victorians
Great
Horses
Long
Scare
Believe
Horse
People
Absolutely
Married
Saying

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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
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The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
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She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
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In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected the only surprise is a day that has none.
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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
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Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
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Learn what not to expect. Irish catholic they get sh**** little rings. Irish women get crappy rings. Baptist get the worst because they get the rings under water. When it comes up, it's garbage. Jewish, big rings. Episcopalian big rings. Italians-the best, because they get them off of dead people, and second wives get the biggest rings of all.
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Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months.
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I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
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I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
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I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
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That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
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To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.
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You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.
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All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
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Self-pity shortens your life.
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