Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
Joan Rivers
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Roles
Lines
Remember
Keller
Derek
Helen
Turned
Role
Couldn
More quotes by Joan Rivers
Never floss a stranger.
Joan Rivers
There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.
Joan Rivers
A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go through menopause again.
Joan Rivers
Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
Joan Rivers
A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
Joan Rivers
Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
Joan Rivers
At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
Joan Rivers
That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
Joan Rivers
There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
Joan Rivers
Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.
Joan Rivers
A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
Joan Rivers
I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.
Joan Rivers
I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.
Joan Rivers
Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers
I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!
Joan Rivers
I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
Joan Rivers
Self-pity shortens your life.
Joan Rivers
I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
Joan Rivers
Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
Joan Rivers
I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: Last Girl Before Freeway.
Joan Rivers
