Quote

I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Thinking
Lawyer
Like
Crisis
World
Judging
Politician
Worry
Concentrating
Simple
Judges
Really
Lawyers
Think
Politicians

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I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
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I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
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There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
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Never admit that your back goes out more than you do
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Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
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Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months.
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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
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My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.
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A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
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I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.
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My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
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All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
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I hate reality shows that are not reality.
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