Quote

I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Simple
Judges
Really
Lawyers
Think
Politicians
Thinking
Lawyer
Like
Crisis
World
Judging
Politician
Worry
Concentrating

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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.
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Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
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I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
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There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
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I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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I hate reality shows that are not reality.
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The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.
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If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.
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The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible.
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I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
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Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
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I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
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I think we obviously need health care. Of course we need health care, but I think that it's gone too far the other way, and I don't understand it. It's gotten so complicated. The minute they made a deal with the drug companies, you know something isn't kosher here.
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