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I felt a comedy ego beginning to grow, which gave me the courage to begin tentatively looking into myself for material.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Courage
Grow
Tentatively
Comedy
Ego
Grows
Material
Looking
Materials
Felt
Gave
Begin
Beginning

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With this face, I need all the deals I can get.
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My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.
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old age' is always ten years more than we are.
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I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
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My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.
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My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.
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It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.
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I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.
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if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
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I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
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I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
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You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
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No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
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Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I'm very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
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