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I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Eight
Telling
Sex
Knew
Funny
Xerox
Reproduction
Humorous

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
Joan Rivers
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I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.
Joan Rivers
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You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
Joan Rivers
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I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.
Joan Rivers
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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
Joan Rivers
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
Joan Rivers
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How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.
Joan Rivers
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Never floss a stranger.
Joan Rivers
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Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
Joan Rivers
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.
Joan Rivers
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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
Joan Rivers
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The only street I like is Rue Honore de Balzac, because 'Balzac' sound so gay, and I love my gays. I might like Parisians more if they named their streets only for gay icons, like Rue Liza Minnelli or Rue Bette Midler or, my favorite, Rue McClanahan.
Joan Rivers
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Never admit that your back goes out more than you do
Joan Rivers
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I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.
Joan Rivers
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In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected the only surprise is a day that has none.
Joan Rivers
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My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
Joan Rivers
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Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
Joan Rivers
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I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.
Joan Rivers
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You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.
Joan Rivers
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If you don't go to Broadway, you're a fool. On Broadway, off Broadway, above Broadway, below Broadway, go! Don't tell me there isn't something wonderful playing. If I'm home in New York at night, I'm either at a Broadway or an Off Broadway show. We're in the theater capital of the world, and if you don't get it, you're an idiot.
Joan Rivers