Quote

Two is company three is fifty bucks.

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Three
Two
Bucks
Fifty
Sex
Company

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
Joan Rivers
Image
What I love about jewelry is you can change it for something else without surgery.
Joan Rivers
Image
Having a baby can be a scream.
Joan Rivers
Image
Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
Joan Rivers
Image
God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
Joan Rivers
Image
Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young' it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.
Joan Rivers
Image
Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
Joan Rivers
Image
I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
Joan Rivers
Image
Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
Joan Rivers
Image
I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
Joan Rivers
Image
A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
Joan Rivers
Image
Better laid than never.
Joan Rivers
Image
I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
Joan Rivers
Image
Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
Joan Rivers
Image
Happiness, at my age, is breathing
Joan Rivers
Image
I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.
Joan Rivers
Image
My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
Joan Rivers
Image
My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
Joan Rivers
Image
I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
Joan Rivers
Image
I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
Joan Rivers