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I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Possible
Black
Back
Even
Jackson
Michael
Racist
Friend
More quotes by Joan Rivers
I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
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I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
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With this face, I need all the deals I can get.
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I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
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I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
Joan Rivers
I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.
Joan Rivers
Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
Joan Rivers
I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.
Joan Rivers
Never admit that your back goes out more than you do
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
Joan Rivers
if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
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I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
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My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
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Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
Joan Rivers