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I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Black
Back
Even
Jackson
Michael
Racist
Friend
Possible

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
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Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
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In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
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That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
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Having a baby can be a scream.
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When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.
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[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
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I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.
Joan Rivers
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Every television show you go on is a choice.
Joan Rivers
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I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
Joan Rivers
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I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'
Joan Rivers
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If you don't go to Broadway, you're a fool. On Broadway, off Broadway, above Broadway, below Broadway, go! Don't tell me there isn't something wonderful playing. If I'm home in New York at night, I'm either at a Broadway or an Off Broadway show. We're in the theater capital of the world, and if you don't get it, you're an idiot.
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe.
Joan Rivers
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I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
Joan Rivers
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Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played Here Comes the Bride.
Joan Rivers
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In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected the only surprise is a day that has none.
Joan Rivers
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Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.
Joan Rivers
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Self-pity shortens your life.
Joan Rivers
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
Joan Rivers