Quote

Never floss a stranger.

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Floss
Stranger
Advice
Never

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
Joan Rivers
Image
Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young' it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.
Joan Rivers
Image
Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.
Joan Rivers
Image
Every television show you go on is a choice.
Joan Rivers
Image
I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
Joan Rivers
Image
Self-pity shortens your life.
Joan Rivers
Image
Two is company three is fifty bucks.
Joan Rivers
Image
How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.
Joan Rivers
Image
The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality.
Joan Rivers
Image
Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.
Joan Rivers
Image
My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.
Joan Rivers
Image
I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'
Joan Rivers
Image
I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.
Joan Rivers
Image
Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
Joan Rivers
Image
When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.
Joan Rivers
Image
Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
Joan Rivers
Image
I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.
Joan Rivers
Image
All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
Joan Rivers
Image
Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
Joan Rivers
Image
If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
Joan Rivers