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Never floss a stranger.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Floss
Stranger
Advice
Never

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
Joan Rivers
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I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
Joan Rivers
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
Joan Rivers
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Happiness, at my age, is breathing
Joan Rivers
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Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
Joan Rivers
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I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.
Joan Rivers
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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
Joan Rivers
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My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.
Joan Rivers
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There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
Joan Rivers
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old age' is always ten years more than we are.
Joan Rivers
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She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
Joan Rivers
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
Joan Rivers
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You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
Joan Rivers
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If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
Joan Rivers
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I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.
Joan Rivers
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
Joan Rivers
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I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked
Joan Rivers
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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
Joan Rivers
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Because I'm the only performer who comes out and says I've had plastic surgery, I've become the plastic surgery poster girl, which is hilarious, because everybody has done it and they all deny it. They stand there, like the Bride of Frankenstein, they've all got stitches, and they all say, 'I've done nothing.' I talk about it.
Joan Rivers
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My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
Joan Rivers