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Happiness, at my age, is breathing

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Breathing
Inspiration
Age
Happiness

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Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
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Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
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Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months.
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There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
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I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.
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I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
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to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
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I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
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I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
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I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: Last Girl Before Freeway.
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.
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Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
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