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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Think
Thinking
Beethoven
Knew
Truth
Time
More quotes by Joan Rivers
Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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Can we talk?
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All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
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My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.
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I think we obviously need health care. Of course we need health care, but I think that it's gone too far the other way, and I don't understand it. It's gotten so complicated. The minute they made a deal with the drug companies, you know something isn't kosher here.
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When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.
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Better laid than never.
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Two is company three is fifty bucks.
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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
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I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
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I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
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My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
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No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
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My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
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Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: 'We will laugh tomorrow about this.' And you do.
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Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.
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I’m never without a bandage.
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A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go through menopause again.
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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
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