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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Time
Think
Thinking
Beethoven
Knew
Truth

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I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.
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A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
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As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something Blew.'
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
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Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
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Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
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Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
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You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
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My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
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You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
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If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
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Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played Here Comes the Bride.
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On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
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