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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Beethoven
Knew
Truth
Time
Think
Thinking
More quotes by Joan Rivers
That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.
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Happiness, at my age, is breathing
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Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.
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I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.
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My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.
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What I love about jewelry is you can change it for something else without surgery.
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I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
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The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.
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Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.
Joan Rivers
I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
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Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
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Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
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to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
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Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.
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I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.
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The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
Joan Rivers
I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
Joan Rivers
I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
Joan Rivers
