Quote

Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Love
Life
Dependable
People
Dogs
Dog
Certainly
Friend
Easier
True

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My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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I think actual death will be a lot easier than dying on stage. Cause - you know - if you do [actual death] right, you can go looking good. Maybe with a little quip [like]: 'I loved everybody.' But dying on stage...Oh, God!
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Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
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The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality.
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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
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Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
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Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: 'We will laugh tomorrow about this.' And you do.
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I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.
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I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He dropped the Polaroid and keeled over and so did the hooker. It would have taken me half an hour to untie myself and call the paramedics, but fortunately the Great Dane could dial.
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Happiness, at my age, is breathing
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There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.
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Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
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I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.
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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
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I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian -- and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had.
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Self-pity shortens your life.
Joan Rivers