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I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Louis
Adore
Apartment
York
Done
Loft
Like
Remade
Fifteenth
Ballroom

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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
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I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
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Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.
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I think we obviously need health care. Of course we need health care, but I think that it's gone too far the other way, and I don't understand it. It's gotten so complicated. The minute they made a deal with the drug companies, you know something isn't kosher here.
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With this face, I need all the deals I can get.
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Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: 'We will laugh tomorrow about this.' And you do.
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Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
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Can we talk?
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Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.
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Better laid than never.
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I always like a charity with people who don't speak English because I get them to do all kinds of things around my house.
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.
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Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
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I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
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No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
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