Quote

I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Fifteenth
Ballroom
Louis
Adore
Apartment
York
Done
Loft
Like
Remade

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Every television show you go on is a choice.
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My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.
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You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
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I was my own buddy in camp.
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The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible.
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If you don't go to Broadway, you're a fool. On Broadway, off Broadway, above Broadway, below Broadway, go! Don't tell me there isn't something wonderful playing. If I'm home in New York at night, I'm either at a Broadway or an Off Broadway show. We're in the theater capital of the world, and if you don't get it, you're an idiot.
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There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
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Self-pity shortens your life.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
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I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.
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My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
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Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
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I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
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I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
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Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
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Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
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Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
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With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
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Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.
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