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I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Like
Remade
Fifteenth
Ballroom
Louis
Adore
Apartment
York
Done
Loft

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to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
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Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.
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Welcome to my world! I've been through it all, and I often pinch myself to believe my luck. I design jewlery, create cosmetics, perform comedy, act, lecture, write books, travel, have a fabulous daughter, and a phenomenal grandson-and I feel I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.
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Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
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All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
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Never floss a stranger.
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I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.
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Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
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Self-pity shortens your life.
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I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He dropped the Polaroid and keeled over and so did the hooker. It would have taken me half an hour to untie myself and call the paramedics, but fortunately the Great Dane could dial.
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Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'
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Never admit that your back goes out more than you do
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Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.
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Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.
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I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
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