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I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Adore
Apartment
York
Done
Loft
Like
Remade
Fifteenth
Ballroom
Louis

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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
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[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
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With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
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If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
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Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
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No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
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I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.
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Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.
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I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
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Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
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Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.
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If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
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Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
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Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
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if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.
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I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.
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You don’t marry for love. What does love got to do with marriage? I spit on love and marriage. You marry for money.
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I felt a comedy ego beginning to grow, which gave me the courage to begin tentatively looking into myself for material.
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Self-pity shortens your life.
Joan Rivers