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Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Better
Nothing
Permanently
Happenings
Happening
Enjoy

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.
Joan Rivers
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On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
Joan Rivers
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Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
Joan Rivers
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Can we talk?
Joan Rivers
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All Angelina Jolie wants to do is do good for people. And she was saying to me: If I could just make one person happy, Joan, I'll die satisfied. I said: Easy! Just give Jennifer Aniston back her husband.
Joan Rivers
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When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.
Joan Rivers
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I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.
Joan Rivers
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
Joan Rivers
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But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback riding with Jackie O in Central Park if you're going to make a joke about her that night.
Joan Rivers
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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
Joan Rivers
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Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers
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I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.
Joan Rivers
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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
Joan Rivers
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I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
Joan Rivers
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In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected the only surprise is a day that has none.
Joan Rivers
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Two is company three is fifty bucks.
Joan Rivers
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.
Joan Rivers
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my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.
Joan Rivers
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I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He dropped the Polaroid and keeled over and so did the hooker. It would have taken me half an hour to untie myself and call the paramedics, but fortunately the Great Dane could dial.
Joan Rivers
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
Joan Rivers