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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Wrong
Enjoy
Everyone
Strong
Things
Upset
Life
Fast
Gets
Goes

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
Joan Rivers
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Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.
Joan Rivers
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Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.
Joan Rivers
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Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
Joan Rivers
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My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.
Joan Rivers
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When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
Joan Rivers
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I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
Joan Rivers
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Better laid than never.
Joan Rivers
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But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback riding with Jackie O in Central Park if you're going to make a joke about her that night.
Joan Rivers
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
Joan Rivers
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Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
Joan Rivers
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Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
Joan Rivers
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My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
Joan Rivers
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Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers
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Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.
Joan Rivers
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Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
Joan Rivers
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At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
Joan Rivers
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I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
Joan Rivers
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Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young' it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.
Joan Rivers
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
Joan Rivers