Quote

I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian -- and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had.

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Littles
Cher
Little
Justin
Like
Lesbian
Wishes
Daughter
Looked
Stand
Wish

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
I love the way my life has fallen into place.
Joan Rivers
Image
I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
Joan Rivers
Image
There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
Joan Rivers
Image
I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: Last Girl Before Freeway.
Joan Rivers
Image
A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
Joan Rivers
Image
if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
Joan Rivers
Image
The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality.
Joan Rivers
Image
to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
Joan Rivers
Image
I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
Joan Rivers
Image
The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible.
Joan Rivers
Image
Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
Joan Rivers
Image
My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.
Joan Rivers
Image
I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.
Joan Rivers
Image
I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
Joan Rivers
Image
That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
Joan Rivers
Image
My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
Joan Rivers
Image
With this face, I need all the deals I can get.
Joan Rivers
Image
My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
Joan Rivers
Image
If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
Joan Rivers
Image
I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.
Joan Rivers