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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Optimist
Terrific
Optimism
Present
Dark
Come
Matter
Something

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
Joan Rivers
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I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.
Joan Rivers
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
Joan Rivers
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
Joan Rivers
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Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'
Joan Rivers
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
Joan Rivers
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I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
Joan Rivers
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Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
Joan Rivers
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I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
Joan Rivers
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Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
Joan Rivers
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I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.
Joan Rivers
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I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
Joan Rivers
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There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
Joan Rivers
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To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.
Joan Rivers
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A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go through menopause again.
Joan Rivers
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!
Joan Rivers
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Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
Joan Rivers
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I hate reality shows that are not reality.
Joan Rivers
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
Joan Rivers