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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Terrific
Optimism
Present
Dark
Come
Matter
Something
Optimist

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
Joan Rivers
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I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
Joan Rivers
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Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
Joan Rivers
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I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian -- and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had.
Joan Rivers
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I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.
Joan Rivers
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Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
Joan Rivers
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I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
Joan Rivers
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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
Joan Rivers
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If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Joan Rivers
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
Joan Rivers
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
Joan Rivers
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You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
Joan Rivers
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I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.
Joan Rivers
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
Joan Rivers
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Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
Joan Rivers
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I think actual death will be a lot easier than dying on stage. Cause - you know - if you do [actual death] right, you can go looking good. Maybe with a little quip [like]: 'I loved everybody.' But dying on stage...Oh, God!
Joan Rivers
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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
Joan Rivers
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I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers
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I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: Last Girl Before Freeway.
Joan Rivers
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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
Joan Rivers