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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Terrific
Optimism
Present
Dark
Come
Matter
Something
Optimist
More quotes by Joan Rivers
Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
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Never floss a stranger.
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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
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Happiness, at my age, is breathing
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Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
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The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality.
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You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
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If you don't go to Broadway, you're a fool. On Broadway, off Broadway, above Broadway, below Broadway, go! Don't tell me there isn't something wonderful playing. If I'm home in New York at night, I'm either at a Broadway or an Off Broadway show. We're in the theater capital of the world, and if you don't get it, you're an idiot.
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A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
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Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
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My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.
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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
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Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
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Self-pity shortens your life.
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.
Joan Rivers