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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Something
Optimist
Terrific
Optimism
Present
Dark
Come
Matter

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
Joan Rivers
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
Joan Rivers
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old age' is always ten years more than we are.
Joan Rivers
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Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
Joan Rivers
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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
Joan Rivers
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Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
Joan Rivers
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My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.
Joan Rivers
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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
Joan Rivers
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
Joan Rivers
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.
Joan Rivers
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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
Joan Rivers
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Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
Joan Rivers
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Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.
Joan Rivers
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That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
Joan Rivers
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keep moving. It's hard for old age to hit a moving target.
Joan Rivers
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You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
Joan Rivers
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Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
Joan Rivers
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My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.
Joan Rivers
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How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.
Joan Rivers
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If you don't want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.
Joan Rivers