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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Sex
Beauty
Littles
Little
Gynecologist
Gynecologists
Appeal
Appeals
Calls
More quotes by Joan Rivers
I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
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Happiness, at my age, is breathing
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
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I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
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I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: Last Girl Before Freeway.
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Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
Joan Rivers
I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.
Joan Rivers
My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
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Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.
Joan Rivers
Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
Joan Rivers
if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
Joan Rivers
Never admit that your back goes out more than you do
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You don’t marry for love. What does love got to do with marriage? I spit on love and marriage. You marry for money.
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
Joan Rivers
To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.
Joan Rivers