Quote

I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Appeals
Calls
Sex
Beauty
Littles
Little
Gynecologist
Gynecologists
Appeal

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.
Joan Rivers
Image
I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
Joan Rivers
Image
Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
Joan Rivers
Image
Welcome to my world! I've been through it all, and I often pinch myself to believe my luck. I design jewlery, create cosmetics, perform comedy, act, lecture, write books, travel, have a fabulous daughter, and a phenomenal grandson-and I feel I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.
Joan Rivers
Image
Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
Joan Rivers
Image
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
Joan Rivers
Image
A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
Joan Rivers
Image
I love the way my life has fallen into place.
Joan Rivers
Image
On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
Joan Rivers
Image
Better laid than never.
Joan Rivers
Image
I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
Joan Rivers
Image
All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
Joan Rivers
Image
The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
Joan Rivers
Image
I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.
Joan Rivers
Image
Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young' it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.
Joan Rivers
Image
Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
Joan Rivers
Image
I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
Joan Rivers
Image
I think actual death will be a lot easier than dying on stage. Cause - you know - if you do [actual death] right, you can go looking good. Maybe with a little quip [like]: 'I loved everybody.' But dying on stage...Oh, God!
Joan Rivers
Image
But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback riding with Jackie O in Central Park if you're going to make a joke about her that night.
Joan Rivers
Image
I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.
Joan Rivers