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You don’t marry for love. What does love got to do with marriage? I spit on love and marriage. You marry for money.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Love
Spit
Marry
Marriage
Money
Doe

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
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Welcome to my world! I've been through it all, and I often pinch myself to believe my luck. I design jewlery, create cosmetics, perform comedy, act, lecture, write books, travel, have a fabulous daughter, and a phenomenal grandson-and I feel I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.
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I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.
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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
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Two is company three is fifty bucks.
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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
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I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
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Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
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There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
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How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.
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old age' is always ten years more than we are.
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My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.
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My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.
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Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
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Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
Joan Rivers