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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Needs
Facelifts
Brooklyn
Nose
Noses
Except
Everyone
Jobs
Need
Facelift
More quotes by Joan Rivers
Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
Joan Rivers
I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
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Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
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I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He dropped the Polaroid and keeled over and so did the hooker. It would have taken me half an hour to untie myself and call the paramedics, but fortunately the Great Dane could dial.
Joan Rivers
With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
Joan Rivers
My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.
Joan Rivers
They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.
Joan Rivers
God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
Joan Rivers
I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
Joan Rivers
All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
Joan Rivers
I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
Joan Rivers
My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.
Joan Rivers
I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
Joan Rivers
I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.
Joan Rivers
I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.
Joan Rivers
Better laid than never.
Joan Rivers
You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
Joan Rivers
Every television show you go on is a choice.
Joan Rivers
Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
Joan Rivers
to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
Joan Rivers